I WANT TO SET FIRE TO YOUR CULTURE AND DANCE AROUND THE PYRES…

Baba thinks love equates to obedience. He knows of the kind of love where you just say yes to whatever is expected of you. you bow in respect like the genie of Alladin ka Chirag who only knows of fulfilling wishes, dreams and expectations. How do i tell him that I have a rebel in me who wants to question every damn thing that is spoom fed to us as culture? How do I say I am not a fan of our so-called pious norms which feed on patriarchy, discrimination and misogyny. How do I tell him i view the world from a different perspective, the one where I dont have to compromise on my dreams and expectations to fulfill someone else’s. the one where I am more mine than anyone else’s, the one where I have more right over myself and I can think of me first before bowing to someone’s demands.
He tells me he has given me the freedom to live my life on my own terms for which i should be forever grateful. how do I tell him I hate it when men think they can give us what is rightfully ours and expect from us to be grateful for it.
Maa doesn’t know how to ask for love except to serve it in a plate-like your favorite biryani on a friday night with kababs. Like she only knows of giving love. Like she doesn’t know the language for asking. So she would tell me about life and responsibilities, she would stress on the part where girls need to take care of the needs of the husband irrespective of their own needs. Prioritization is easy after marriage you know? She tells me. You just have to prioritize your responsibility as a wife first, everything else comes latter. My inner gender rights activist wants to scream in a louder voice that I dont agree with what you say. But I nod at her, as if reassuring her that I will try not to be a rebel. How do I tell her I rebel against all the traditions where women are seen as someone’s wife, daughter or sister first instead of looking at her a human. How do i say i can love, live and learn to make mistakes and not be tagged with any adjectives of piousness because i dont want to be pious. How do i tell her i dont want to be a saint and live my life within boundaries. How do I tell the world that I want to set fire to your culture and dance around the pyres everytime the culture pops up from nowhere and is used as a tool for not letting us live like humans, for objectifying us, for treating us like something that is owned, for bullying and body-shaming us, for manipulating us, for harrasing us everytime we are out in the world, for labelling us, for making us feel any less human because we are NOT.