A WALK DOWN THE MEMORY LANE!!

I never knew I would ever miss the place I once hated so much. Well hated is a strong word with such a negetive conotation. I would rather use “not very much liked”. Like every other akhss pre medical kid, I was once high on the spirit that I wud definitely make it to med school. I had to. It was a dream since childhood. Although I still cant trace it to what made me so crazy for it and when. Was it the white coat with the stethoscope that I so adored or I really loved the idea of cutting humans to the core and stiching them with my own hands. I dont know yet all I remember is I was going through a hard time when I couldnt make it on the few seats that are reserved for the people of GB in med schools. I literally locked myself in and cried for hours. I didnt talk much to anyone and was alone in my struggle to defy the one thing that was weighting me down, mentally; my own dream. Dreams of being called a doctor someday. Well well well, my brother might have been aware of my not so alright state of mind and told me one day, that I had to appear in a university entry test for which I had to travel to lahore. The mere thought of travelling to another city alone was giving me chills, let alone giving up on my dream of becoming a doctor. But I had no choice to make. Cutting the long story short, I was finally attending the orientation session of Forman Christian College one day. I was in a university and I had no career plans in mind. I managed to make some friends and waste my time on campus since freshies have plenty of time roaming around campus and enjoying themselves, still with zero clue of what the other semesters have in store for them. I would spend most of my time in the cozy library’s 2nd floor since it was almost empty with no couples to distract you from your novels.I used to read fiction alot. I remember this one day very clearly when my friend showed up in the library with his bag hidden inside the pile of books he was holding. Taking bags inside the library was not allowed. My all nuts friend had managed to smuggle in some breads with nutella. We ate and laughed our hearts out in the library. It was becoming my favourite place in the whole university. May be because in the books, I found stories that would take me away from the realities of the wicked world. In the stories, I found a place to hide from the world but anyways, my love for books goes a long way back and is a story I would tell some other day. Somehow fate landed me in a councelling office and I started working part time from the second semester. Since the dreams that push you to strive and do extraordinarily well were not there and my only plan was to do my degree early in 3.5 years and get out of that place. I hated every damn rule.I loathed the hostel managment as well as the university’s but loved hope tower. Those 3ams at the rooftop, looking at the busy yet beautiful city of lahore with chai in one hand and a good book in the other is all I remember and cherish now although the food was terribly bad. Call it fate or whatever, but the friends I made in FC were the best people one could wish for. They still are the best part of my life. Even the simple things like going out to Burns road for chai would turn out to be a good dayout for us . Going to my friends place for the weekend was also one of those times I would look forward to. We would roam around in lahore, starting from main market to liberty and to anarkali, shoping or experiancing new places to dine at. Whether it was going to our fav Saji place in Behria town at 1am or just roaming around jamming in high pitched notes some shitty bollywood song, every single moment with some dumbasses I call hometeam was literally the best part of my stay in lahore. The best thing is we were always us, no dramas,no negetivity, no showoffs, no jeolousy, everything good and positive, always pushing each other to do good and hold on through the bad days. There were bad moments as well. Like the class from warden after being out past the curfew times or the times when the deen caught us smoking on campus, or the deadlines coupled with society events which fucked up the sleep cycle. Yet I did somehow managed to complete my degree in 3.5 years but I gave up on my job in Dignosco in the final year. The one thing that now I look back and realise is that I have changed and groomed as a person over the years. For good or for bad but I have changed and quite alot. The only habit thats managed to stick with me over these years is the habit of reading and sometimes, writing or more appropriately, ranting on some random topic. I love reading like anything, may be thats why the quarantine time is not getting on my nerves. But I awfully miss FC, I really do. and I am glad that FC was part of my journey. If not doctor, it made me a confident and strong women who knows what life is, what is important in it and how to hold on to life on the bad days. It made me realise that we can always dream again, as long as there is life. But more importantly, FC has given me the best people in the form of friends and I will cherish that bond for life. And sometimes when I am close to giving up, the memories of FC is the one thing that keeps me going. Is this really me speaking so good about fc? Thats what memories do to you. They come back in waves when the moment is far off in history, and make you realise that you have lived. And you will, as long as there is blood in your veins and air flowing through your lungs, as long as that little heart is still beating, you will live and no amount of pain, no heartache, nothing could ever bring you down. Thats the beauty of memories, they defy science and take you back in past, so you can always hold on to them and cherish them while life is still there……